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03 July 2009 @ 11:06 pm
Empathy  
Title: Empathy
Rated: PG
Characters: Taisa and Narsko
Warnings: Possible OOCness, hasn’t been revised/proofread, some ‘fluff’, some homophobic views, some homosexual views, shounen-ai (however one-sided), and angst.

Probably crap-tacular because I haven’t even proofread…  *Shrugs* maybe later. :/  IT’S SIX PAGES!!!  LONGEST FANFIC TO DATE~!!!!  :DDDDD

The general plot of the universe in which this takes place is long and complex, so I’ll fill you in on what you ‘basically’ may need to know (if you just want to skip to the fic., go to the little divider thing I‘ve put here), just because I‘d rather not distract anyone from the point of the story:  Narsko is a homosexual (though, he appreciates the special qualities that women have and gets interested in dating one, though, this is, pretty much, rare as he seems to put more focus on getting a boyfriend…  so, bisexual???) alien demikoro (sp?; half demon, ¼ human, and ¼ something else, I forget.  ^^;)  with a fraternal twin brother, Dolus, while Taisa is a homophobic human mercenary (nationality pending) who’s sanity is sometimes questionable.  After having been involuntarily recruited into a sort of ‘intergalactic militia,’ the two eventually meet.  Taisa, at first, is ‘somewhat’ open towards Narsko (Taisa isn‘t really all that open and is kind of ‘cold,’ so this is a ‘relative‘ factor)…  that is, until he finds out that Narsko is gay and he may have some little crush on him.  He makes a point to avoid the alien, but Narsko doesn’t get the clue; Narsko, having been raised most of his life with only his brother and mother to talk to (and then his mother died even then), is now in social heaven and wants to learn about and befriend as many people as he possibly can and just so happens to find Taisa to be a very interesting individual.  He would hang out with him- despite Taisa’s obvious attempts to get away from him-, would volunteer to go on missions with him -despite Taisa’s disapproval-, and would include Taisa in on things he and a couple of others would be doing -despite the fact that Taisa preferred doing his own thing and not being a ‘follower,’ regardless of whether or not Narsko was in it.  Taisa saw Narsko as an ‘idiot low-life’ (despite the fact that Narsko is stronger than Taisa), while Narsko saw Taisa as one of the ‘most interesting people around’.  However, through the battles Taisa, Narsko, and the rest of the gang went through, the bond between the two kind of started to grow.  Taisa, without realizing it, began looking after Narsko, asking him a couple of simple questions every now and then, having small talk, and such.  He became a bit more tolerant of going on missions and doing things with Narsko, but he would still claim to hate the alien.  Narsko, becoming respectful of Taisa’s thoughts, stopped randomly ‘glomping’ him and, generally, stopped trying to force a friendship between the two.

NOW, the gang has just been in battle with their strongest enemy (Muteki; he’s not the ‘main’ enemy, but one of her elite henchmen…  again, long story) yet, a very horrible and manipulative “ex” of Narsko’s (I‘ll touch on this in the fic.).  Muteki managed to take control over Narsko and had him go as far as killing Dolus, his Narsko’s brother.  Once that was done, Muteki gave Narsko back the control over his body and took joy in watching him breakdown at the realization of killing his own brother.  Many members of the ‘gang’ had been killed, but because of the sacrifice of their supernatural leader (also a rather long story and irrelevant to the fic.), they were capable of coming back to life.  Taisa never died, but was very much injured.  Once back to life, Dolus became cold toward his brother (for many reasons that may or may not be discussed in the fic.) and would have nothing to do with him.  Now Narsko has lost (or feels that he’s lost) the two people that meant everything to him (Dolus, the last surviving member of his family other than himself, and Muteki, the one man that seemed to stay in his heart no matter how horrible he was to Narsko).

Eh…  I’m sorry this took nearly a whole page to explain, but it’s a part of a really big series I’d like to work on and, people like me may want to know some background of the characters (I heart deep characterization and development to the fullest! <3).  This is actually the first scene I’ve written for it.  The series isn’t focused around Taisa and Narsko, but they play a very, very important role…  But I won’t get into that because I spent too much time already discussing background information…  I’m really, REALLY sorry!!!  ^^;;;

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Aches.  Pains.  That’s what Taisa kept waking up to.  He would try to go to sleep, but the boredom of being in bed for the past few days was too distracting.  He wanted to get up and do something, something physical…  Lagging behind on his training was something a weapon didn’t need to do.  Especially after losing a battle…  

losing a battle…  

Taisa cringed at the thought.  He was brought up to be a weapon of mass destruction…  And he was…  He was on Earth…  He was in the physical world…  Hell’s Reaper, that’s what he was referred to.  The very sight of him would terrify them that saw him for his cruel smile would be the last thing seen before the mass of fire obliterated their bodies.

It was something that Taisa was born into, but he had learned to enjoy his work…  Maybe a little too much…  No…  he would never admit it…  But it was true.  At least for the most part.  Taisa frowned as he recalled calling death to somebody that was worth something to him.  But honestly?  He should have stayed out of it.  He never would have had to have been killed.  He interrupted his mission and had to pay for it.  Kajika…  That friendship was over when the idiot decided to become a bounty hunter.  No…  no, there was no meaning to that man’s life, nothing that concerned Taisa.  That was it.  It was all over.  Friendship is nothing to a mercenary.  What’s the point in taking the time to befriend someone that would eventually die anyway?  It was a waste of time.  Relationships past the level of ‘general acquaintance,’ ‘employer,’ or ‘lady of the night’ were pointless.  Family was to, for that matter.  His father had sat back and watched the harsh training Taisa and his sister, Milly, had to put up with.  And Milly?  Any relationship with Milly was nearly impossible.  She was always so strange in her thinking, yet claimed Taisa was the strange one.

Taisa let out a deep sigh.  With that deep sigh, came a strange feeling from just under his arm, barely touching it.  Taisa’s eyes widened, eyebrow raised as he wondered what could have possibly made such a movement.  He looked to his side, to find a long, white pillow.  At least, that’s what it looked like.  It was the middle of the night and there was hardly any light at all in the room.  Dim moonlight just barely made it’s way through the blinds.  He took a closer look at the object, moving his upper arm toward the top of it and giving it a slight rub, trying to take in the texture.  It felt like…  the top of someone’s head?

“Have I disturbed you?” the object asked.

Taisa double-jolted, the first barely noticeable as some part of him was trying to tell him it was a person, the second ‘very’ noticeable as he realized who this person was.  He slightly hissed as the jerks of things that weren’t supposed to be moved resulted in sharp aches, alongside the fact that he had nearly knocked his head off by hitting it against the metal placed behind the bed.  

The object, Narsko, shot up alarmed at what had just happened.  “Are you okay?”

Taisa snarled at the pain, wishing he could rub the back of his head.  “What the hell are you doing in my bed?” he demanded, glaring at Narsko.

Narsko’s eyes narrowed just before he looked down at the leg dangling off the bed.  “I…  I really need to be near someone…”

Taisa raised an eyebrow at Narsko.  Narsko really hadn’t been acting right since the whole ‘my gay lover has returned to me and now I will proceed in killing everything!  Mwaha!’ incident…  Well…  To be honest, he really didn’t know that much about the relationship the two had except what he had gathered from Dolus’s yelling at Narsko.  Not that he cared about what went on between the two, but what else was there to do when stranded in bed?  It was the highlight of his week, overhearing someone yelling at another being as if they were about to kill him.

“You want to be ‘near’ someone?  There‘s twenty-eight other people on this thing you could be ‘near,’” Taisa said with a snarl.

Narsko went quiet, his lavender eyes looking up into space in a daze.  Taisa stared at his what parts of the alien’s blue face the light would let him see.  The expression Narsko had…  it was different than any he had made before.  His varied from carefree and disgustingly ‘giddy’ to a somewhat more solemn expression on the occasion that he ‘actually’ had something wise to say.  Granted, he knew Narsko wasn’t stupid.  Technologically-illiterate and similar in his social skills, Narsko proved to be a little slow at times, if not, ridiculously immature.  However he seemed to ‘mature’ when necessary.  That’s what counted, Taisa supposed.  But now…  Now, Narsko seemed drained of any life in him.  His glare just seemed dead.  His face was dead.  ‘He’ seemed dead.  It was almost disturbing.  There was almost an air of mystery, Taisa almost began to wonder what Narsko was going to do next.  Almost.  “What‘s the matter?” he had finally decided to ask.

Narsko shoulder’s slumped as he laid back down in bed, this time, facing Taisa, head near the red head’s scarred chest, the tip of it resting against Taisa’s shoulder.  Narsko wrapped his arm around the man, just between Taisa’s chest and abs.  Narsko snuggled in, glare still dead, long, white hair falling into his face.

Taisa tensed up, eyes wide, left eyebrow twitching.  Every place Narsko was touching, Taisa’s skin seemed to squirm under it.  It felt disgusting.  He wanted to yell at Narsko and literally kick him out of the room as he had done before for a similar action.  He wanted to push the man away, at least, but he simply wasn’t in the position to.  

Yet…

He couldn’t even bring himself to say a word.  There was something…  something familiar… Taisa just couldn’t put his finger on it.

Taisa let out a frustrated sigh.  “Look,” he said.  “I know you‘re going through a lot right now.  However, sleeping in the same bed as myself isn‘t going to solve anything.”

Narsko remained dazed.

“Narsko?” Taisa said aloud as he wondered if the man had even heard a word he said.

Narsko piped up.  “I just…”  he paused before continuing, “I just want that feeling of closeness…  I need it…”  Narsko gripped the sheets.  “I need to know that there is someone there…”

“You‘re expecting ‘me‘ to be that someone?”  Taisa desperately wanted to ask Narsko if he had lost his mind.  He couldn’t stand him.  He couldn’t stand a thing about him.  Narsko’s problems were of no concern to Taisa.  He just didn’t care.

“I just need someone to lay close to…  I need someone to hold me, regardless of whether or not they really are ‘there‘…  I need that feeling of closeness…”  Taisa listened as Narsko’s voice began to break.  He felt as Narsko snuggled in closer, the grip he had on the other side of him becoming tighter.  “…I really need it…”

Taisa began to feel something uncomfortable.  He had no idea what was on Narsko’s mind now.  Aside…  aside from something that seemed to feel like hurt.  Is that what he was feeling from him? …  No…  Taisa rarely ever felt hurt about anything…  It had to be something else…  But, then it described Narsko’s situation…  supposedly…  Yes…  That’s what Narsko must have been feeling, hurt.  But why did ‘that’ feel familiar?  Why did any of what Narsko feelings feel familiar?  He hadn’t ever recalled feeling any such way.  At least if he did, he wouldn’t have admitted it.

“I killed my brother, Taisa…  I… I killed him…”

Taisa rolled his eyes, not wanting to hear any of this.  But even so, something made him keep quiet.

“And Muteki…” Narsko continued, keeping back sobs.  “Muteki… my love… my prince…  he had given me everything…”

‘I ‘really’ don’t want to hear about it,’ Taisa had wanted to say so badly.  Even so, he couldn’t understand why there was a part of him that ‘did’.

“…He had my heart…  he had everything I had to give…  my brother, even…  I killed him for Muteki…  I killed him for my prince…  Now I‘ve lost my brother as well as my prince.  I‘ve lost them…  I‘ve lost everything…”

‘So the two hadn’t made up…’ Taisa had thought to himself.  ‘Well, that was made obvious by all of Dolus’ yelling.’  In recollection, he had never heard of Dolus being so angry…  But then, he had just been killed by his own brother who had put himself into such a situation by being stupid enough to hang on every word that monster had said.  He had thought that after Narsko’s first encounter with the man, he would have learned his lesson, or so he had heard.  At the point that said experience happened, Taisa had no knowledge that extra-terrestrials such as Narsko and Dolus had actually existed.  

“I need something to hang on to,” Narsko stated.  “I‘ve never been alone like this…  I don‘t know if I can handle it…  I don‘t know what to do with myself…  I need that feeling of closeness…”

Closeness…  Loneliness…  Loneliness…  Taisa frowned…  Loneliness…

“I know how you feel about me and I‘m sorry,” Narsko managed to say.  “I‘ve seen you lonely to…  I want us to be happy…  both of us…  I want us to pull through together…”  Narsko was sounding as if his crying was dying down.

‘I am happy…’  That’s what Taisa was going to say.  But these vibes he was getting from Narsko…  they were all too familiar…  hurt…  loneliness…  killing a ‘brother’ of sorts…  guilt?…  No…  Taisa had no guilt.  Everyone was the cause of their own deaths; if they died, they deserved it, that’s just how Taisa believed.  This was just how Taisa lived, a way of life.  But that way of life seemed like it would kill Narsko before the end.  Narsko was happy by nature, social to, apparently, judging by the way he had adjusted to a lifestyle around such a number of people.  Loneliness would kill a social person.  Loneliness would kill someone like Narsko…  Taisa recalled how it almost got the best of him at the start…  Sometimes at other points of his life as well…  He wouldn’t say that out loud, however…

Regardless, there were ‘other‘ matters that needed to be settled first.  “Do you ‘really‘ think laying next to me the way you are is going to do anything?  Don‘t you understand what that‘s a gesture of?”  Taisa was sure that he did.

Narsko was quiet for a moment.  “There‘s something that stirs within us…  I‘ve never understood exactly ‘what’ it was…  Being close to someone like this has never made me feel complete happiness, but it‘s made me feel closer…  I don‘t suppose I‘ll really find someone I can feel that close to, just through a hug…”

This statement gave Taisa a sense of relief… Until he cuddle up closer to his arm.  “I suppose it‘s like a good parent‘s hug to a child.  My mother loved us dearly.  Anytime either of us would get hurt, she would be there to comfort us.  It was just a hug…  but there was always a closeness there…” Narsko remarked, hearing a disapproved grunt from Taisa.  Taisa’s mother had been killed sometime after Milly was born and his father…  he didn’t even want to think about him.  Aside from that, he really wasn’t a ‘huggy’ type person.  He refused to even hug whatever woman he get for a night.  It was just a strange thing to him.  He rarely ever got an embrace that had meaning behind it, if ever…  And Taisa had never really given one.  He just didn’t care.

But what Narsko was doing…  it did feel… weird… but things did feel familiar…  But, wait…  Narsko had mentioned seeing him feel lonely…  Those were the vibes Taisa was getting from him…  Alongside hurt and other things…  What was this?

Things had finally gotten quiet.  Narsko stayed still as Taisa glared into space, thinking.

Narsko, eyes drooping asked tiredly to Taisa, “I know you don’t enjoy my company…  But could I stay anyway?”

Taisa stayed quiet for a moment.  That fact that a man was laying in the same bed as him -and laying so close, at that- was uncomfortable for Taisa…  But then, this feeling he was getting from him and being able to share that…  The two ‘were’ something alike, he supposed.  But even so…  Well…  that didn’t really matter right now…

“Just leave the room before morning.  I don‘t want anyone thinking there‘s something going on between us,” Taisa retorted.

With that, Narsko got comfortable next to him, feeling Taisa’s injured arm on Narsko’s side getting a little closer to Narsko’s shoulders.  Narsko sighed quietly.  Taisa may never be his, but Narsko has at least found someone whom he can empathize with.
 
 
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